Failure is Part of the Journey to Success

I have been wanting to run a motivational workshop/retreat for as long as I can remember. I’ve attended so many of them and would carefully pay attention to how each one was lead and organized. I obtained numerous ideas for how I would run my own workshop and eagerly wrote them down in my journal. After at least ten years of thinking and planning and ruminating about my workshop, my idea finally came to fruition this month. Well, sort of. 

I decided that my workshop would be for people of a certain age who felt that they couldn’t achieve new goals and dreams because of their age. After much thought, I came up with a great name for my workshop: “Achieve Your Dream at Any Age or Any Stage,” and found a picture of a tall mast of a sailboat stretching endlessly upward toward a magnificent sky that I had taken this past summer that I would use for my promotional image. I rented a space in Watertown to run my workshop and paid the venue $50 to market it. I carefully planned and put together a wonderful workshop filled with a PowerPoint, interactive activities, songs and reflections. I was all set!

And then it didn’t happen. Just like that! I had to cancel my workshop because I only had one person interested in attending. Talk about feeling defeated. After all of my hard work and planning over so many years, how could my dream end up in disaster like this? In all of my imagining about my workshop, it had never occurred to me that no one would come.

So I had a choice to make: give up on my dream, which was my immediate reaction. “It was a stupid idea,” I thought. “What was I thinking?” Or I could pick myself up and try to think of other ways to do my workshop. I chose to do the latter. I guess either I’m insane for believing that I’ll get different results from doing the same thing or I’m an eternal optimist. I like to believe that I’m the latter.

The night that my workshop was supposed to run I went to the gym and the owner said, “Why aren’t you at your workshop?” Gulp. “Well, it didn’t run due to low enrollment, I sheepishly admitted.” She then told me that I could use her gym space for FREE to run my workshop and offered to promote it in her classes. What a boost I had just received! Almost instantly, after feeling so defeated, the Universe had conspired to push me forward in going for my dream.

A lot of times when people experience a setback or failure in going for their dream, they tend to give up, thinking that their idea must have been stupid or that they didn’t do it right. They might even beat themselves up for it and feel so dejected that they can’t see any hope and then quickly abandon their dream.

The path to success is riddled with failure. There are countless examples of people who made it big whose path to success wasn’t always smooth. When you experience a setback in going for your dream, try to turn your thinking around from “I’m a failure or my idea is stupid,” to “I need to take a new look at my idea/dream and determine what adjustments need to be made.”

I just came back from a retreat where I got LOTS of ideas for my workshop that are really going to enhance it and make it so much better. Now I believe it was meant to be that my workshop didn’t run so I could gather all of these great new ideas. The Universe, in its infinite wisdom, guided me to this retreat to make my workshop even better than before!

It takes a lot of courage and you make yourself vulnerable when you put yourself out there to achieve a new goal or dream. Give yourself credit for that! Don’t let a silly setback stop you. When you understand that failure is an expected and normal part of the journey to success, you can be poised to expect failure and accept it as part of the journey. As with my experience, your setback might just make your dream even better.

Trying to Find Your Purpose in 2020? It Might be Right in Front of You

Many people are searching for their purpose in life – their ultimate true calling that will make their lives fulfilled – and this search often comes to the forefront at the approach of a new year. I know because I’ve been there. I struggled for many years trying to figure out what my purpose was in life. I even went to a spiritual director to discern my higher calling. But to no avail. I never got that “magic” answer that I so desperately craved. Most people are similar in that they expect to have this big “aha” moment when their purpose is ceremoniously revealed. But it doesn’t work that way.

Then one day, out of the blue, it just hit me that I WAS fulfilling my purpose in life which is to coach, encourage and motivate students toward achieving their career goals. I had thought my purpose would be found in pastoral ministry but then realized that my job was my ministry when I was kind, supportive and encouraging to my students. While I was searching and searching and searching, my purpose in life was right there in front of me!

Are you trying to find your purpose in life? The beginning of a new year is often a time when people reflect on this topic and decide to make some changes. As with me, your purpose in life might very well be what you’re doing right now. Does your vocation or avocation bring you joy, happiness and fulfillment? Do you feel that you’re making a difference, of whatever magnitude, and affecting people’s lives in a positive way? If not, then maybe it is the time for you to do some reflecting and discerning to find your true purpose.

Finding one’s purpose in life can be a highly elusive concept that often happens fluidly, imperceptibly and organically. Pay attention to what you naturally love to do. What is it that you get totally immersed in and lose track of time? Pay attention to those things that bring you a sense of fulfillment and joy. What do people say you’re good at or are your key strengths? Pay attention to that as well. Maybe something you’re doing on a volunteer basis or your hobbies could be your purpose in life.

I remember hearing a story about someone who worked at the Post Office. She called it her “church” because she offered out kindness and compassion to all with whom she interacted. Similarly, I once worked with a woman who was the receptionist in our company, and I would often tell her that she could do greater things. Liz would always reply with a smile and say that she loved her role as greeter where she could spread her light and love to all.

Oftentimes finding one’s purpose in life means simply “blooming where you are planted.” Reflect on the ways that you may be currently affecting others in a positive way to make a difference whether it be in your job, volunteer position, hobby, etc. Consider different ways in the new year that you can have a positive impact on those right around you. It doesn’t have to be monumental. As Mother Teresa said, “Do small things with great love.” If you are doing that, then you are fulfilling your purpose in life. 

Simple Visioning Tip

Recently, I was prompted to change my email password at work. This happens routinely, as a security measure. I typically bristle against the idea and wait until the very last minute to change it - this time actually missing the deadline and having to call our IT department and beg for forgiveness. "I liked my old password, I'm used to it," I argue in my mind, "Why are they making me change it?"

However, when I changed my password this time, I unthinkingly and automatically changed it to something I am envisioning for my life. I ended up changing my Gmail password to be the same. Since I log into both accounts multiple times a day, I am constantly thinking about my vision throughout the day. It's interesting that something that happened so spontaneously has resulted in a great way to keep my vision in the forefront of my mind. I think you should try it too!

Moving from Disability to Ability

“I have a disability — I can’t see,” says Randy Pierce. “We all have disabilities, things that we can’t do. I think it’s so much more important to put the focus of our lives on things we can do. And if something is important enough to you, I say anything is possible, you’re just going to have to problem-solve and persevere to get there.” 

We all have flaws, imperfections, weaknesses...call them what you will. Some of us use our disabilities as an excuse for not living life to the fullest. They hold us back from being our optimal selves. Sometimes our disabilities are physical, but often they are psychological. Previous life circumstances may have scarred us, or we may have received negative messages in our youth that are difficult to undo in our adulthood. 

What are the things that are holding you back from living your life to the fullest? Honestly answer this sentence, "I really want to do (your dream), but my (disability) is prohibiting me from doing so. Often our biggest disability is fear. Moving forward from our disabilities may be a challenge for some. If you need some assistance, consider working with a therapist, life or career coach who will be able to help you to address your fears and focus on your abilities. Life is too precious to waste by not living it to our fullest potential.

Read Randy's story below to get the inspiration you might need to move past your disabilities.

http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2015/04/blind-man-mountain-boston-marathon?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20150418

The Easter Message of Hope is for Everyone

Last Friday night as I was leaving my yoga class, I said to my friend, "Have a good weekend and a Happy Easter!" Then I quickly added, "If you celebrate it, that is" so as not to offend. In reflecting on this brief exchange, I realized that the Easter message is a universal message that can inspire all of us, Christians and non-Christians alike.

Whether you fully believe in all of the details of the Resurrection story, I think we can all relate to the symbolism and themes surrounding the Easter story: hope, joy, new life, rising from the ashes. In many ways, Jesus' way of being mirrored Buddhist principles. Jesus ultimately accepted his suffering as a necessary part of life, despite a brief spell of wishing it were otherwise in the Garden of Gethsemane. For without suffering, could we even have a resurrection story?

Suffering is an integral part of the Easter story, and suffering is an integral part of each of our stories. Sometimes when we're in the midst of our suffering, we feel alone and abandoned, as Jesus did in the garden, thinking we're the only one who is suffering. Inwardly or outwardly, we may be screaming, "Why did this have to happen to me or my loved one?" or "Why did God do this to me!" When we begin to realize that we are not alone in our suffering, that's when peace will settle in. No one is spared from suffering, not even Jesus. One time I remember reading a chain email where everyone had put their heavy crosses, or burdens, in the center of an empty room and people entering the room were asked if they wanted to take up someone else's cross. No one did. This story reminds us that as difficult as our suffering might be, there is always someone else who is bearing an equally heavy, if not heavier, burden than ours.

But the primary message that the Resurrection story brings is one of hope. As painful as our suffering may seem, "a new day will dawn for those who stay long." (Led Zeppelin, Stairway to Heaven) In my earlier life I experienced several major tragedies but, for some reason, I emerged to be a woman who is filled with hope and positivity about life. Where did this come from? I honestly don't know but I believe the concept of grace that M. Scott Peck describes in the last chapter of The Road Less Traveled played a part. Perhaps it is my spirituality that saved me, my strong belief that there is a higher meaning and purpose to this life. I feel that my purpose, in turn, is to inspire hope and joy in the lives of others.

Many people are turned off by religion these days...about the bureaucracy, hypocrisy and rules. Jesus was none of that. He was a truly enlightened being whose primary message was that of love...love of self and love of neighbor. How can anyone argue with that? I used to think that I had to go to a church to connect with Him, but now I know I can experience Him anywhere and everywhere because God is within each of us. How can you find a way to connect to the god within your soul? If you don't like religious institutions, then perhaps meditation, yoga or a walk in nature will be your route.

As you can see, I have integrated ideas from Christianity, Buddhism, a psychiatrist and, yes, even Led Zeppelin. Some people may think this is sacrilegious. I do not. I think the problem with religion is that often its followers become tribal, rigid and defensive. How can the light get in? Yet, true growth in spirituality comes when we realize that we are more the same than we are different and that there are many paths to enlightenment.